New Nigerian Scam switches from riches to violence; we cite evolution

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Oh. My. God.

Nigerian spam is a punchline. It’s something we joke about when we email each other (which we do, Peter has a crush on me). But these guys have built a new level that’s just awesome. And stupid. And rad. And so joke-worthy it’s nuts.

See, the Nigerian scammers have evolved from the carrot to the stick. It used to be that you’d get a few emails from Miss Chandry Ngete, With You In Christ (it fits on Nigerian driver’s licenses) stating that there were several million dollars with your name on it if these totally royal and trustworthy people were allowed to borrow your bank account.

What could possibly go wrong?

Now the tone has changed. According to St. Louis Today, the scammers are stepping up their game, threatening to murder murder you in cold blood if their demands aren’t met.

That is so badass.

Most of the random recipients will say, “Pshaw! Pshaw! I say, who’d want to put a bullet in my brain?”

But let’s think about this. The trigger here is ego. Some prince asks you for your banking info, you hit the “junk” button. But! Someone says that you’re to be “assassinated” and you’re interested! You think, who wants to kill me? And why?

There’s a certain number of people with dirty secrets. Or, more to the point, secrets that are rather boring but dirty to their lame lives. Fine. This genius reasoning, though creepy, means that certain jerks might respond. The kicker is that there are likely people with secrets who are paranoid about people settling old scores that are really petty. Pride is a killer.

Hopefully this means that us honest, law-abiding types can command our spam filters to disarm a little bit, but sadly, we doubt it. But getting dangerous, murderous pervs paranoid is worth it, right?

Latest e-mail scam: death threats [ST Today]